Tuesday, June 9, 2009

hard to breathe

I had that stinking heartburn again last night. 1 prilosec, 1 zantac and 4 tums took until 2:30 to kick in. Blah. Leaves me a little bleary eyed this morning and my thoughts are a little fuzzy. Then I got a call back from oldest daughter's ENT. He's only available for surgery on Wednesdays (she needs her adenoids removed) and we need to do it either this week or next week. So by 9 am this morning with no coffee in me (I'm cutting out caffeine until I have a few nights heartburn free) I was facing booking a (minor) surgery for my daughter for first thing tomorrow. She can't eat after midnight and that's harder to handle for younger patients, so they book in order of age. She gets the 8:00 appointment which has us at the outpatient surgery center by 6:45. She'll be under full anesthesia for the 30 minute procedure and I know it will be the longest 30 minutes o fmy life. I keep going to my facebook profile and looking at this picture

it's from this weekend, we went up to see my MIL for her birthday. We were out to dinner and the girls just started hugging each other and I had to snap a quick shot. All I had was my phone handy, but really that's all I need. Oldest daughter's beaming face as she embraces her sister is burned into my memory. And I'm terrified. I'm sure the sleep deprivation is playing into this quite a bit, but putting your child's life into the hands of another in such a significant way leaves me feeling helpless. It makes me want to say "NO! Forget the surgery. I'll sleep in her room every night and stay up and make sure she can breathe all night long. Don't worry about me getting any sleep, I've done without it in the past, I'll find a way to manage."

See? There's that pesky sleep issue again. So I'm muddling through the day, trying to clear up any last little work issues so that I'll have tomorrow off, and if anything else comes up, I'll have everything settled and not need me to attend to it for a few days.

So, please keep my sweet girl in your prayers. I'll post an update as soon as I can.

1 comment:

  1. Keeping your daughter and her mama in my prayers!